13 june 2006

i am now in a confusing state...i dunno wat happen to me...my mind is filled with him now...i dunno why...haix...i am jus starting to use laughter to hide my sadness...i dunno why...i jus dun wan to let anyone noe how i feel now...i had been trying hard to laugh...

i dunno why...i starting to keep everything away my sight which is related to him...i jus dun wan to see anything related to him...cos it jus make me miss him more...i kept away the tigger tat he gave me yesterday morning....the tigger is beside me every night when i sleep...but i jus choose to keep it away...it jus make me miss him even more when i look at it...i dunno why...

yesterday night...before i sleep...he eventually reply my msg tat i send him the night before...if he nv sms me...i wont even think of him...i will jus sleep peacefully...without him in my mind...i tink i had been crying the previous two night till i fall asleep...i really dun understand myself why i actually do this...

am i jus falling too deep for him...till i dunno wat i had been doing...i dunno wat i wan...but now...the mention of his name jus make me feel like crying...he had given me wonderful memories before...which i tink i wont forget...i will remember it for the life time...

jus now...showing wan leng and christine my secondary school diary...the whole book is fill with the memories of shaun...and after tat i realise tat my whole blog actually fill with the memories tat he had given me...thinkin of tml...tml will be the 14 june...which is the fifth mth tat i noe him...i mention in my blog before...i wont bother abt this date anymore...how i wish tat i forget abt tml date...and pretend nothing happen...

i dun wan to continue le...cos i jus feel like crying when i type all tat...tml will be another day...i will try to reach school early from now on...cos i had been to school early for the past two days le...maybe in school...i may be laughing all the way...but deep inside of me...i am not...cos i dun wan to let anyone see the other side of me...

i miss him...

nariko
6.45 pm